This post is quickly shaping up to be another experiment on search terms and an informal gauge of the spelling ability of hopelessly adolescent web users. Anyhow, the matter at hand is really a trip to Ano Nuevo State Reserve, where they offer guided tours of one of the largest colonies of elephant seals. The seals mate, birth, and wean their pups on the beaches of the park, and the tours offer pretty close proximity to these interesting, if a bit underwhelming, porkers. I was expecting blubbery flesh on the beach as far as the eye can see, violent clashes between the bulls in the breaking surf, whiskered curiosity gently nibbling sardines out of my bare hands (well, that was more of a fantasy, but a hope nonetheless). What I got instead was beach-y looking lumps of seal scattered here and there amongst the dunes, largely static, and completely impassive. We may have been there at the wrong time, as the mating was over, the females off to feed near Hawaii, and the seals left behind killing time until they were mature enough to swim off themselves. Regardless, what I found to be especially interesting was that they call the weaned pups “weaners” instead of simply, well, “weaned pups”, leaving me to spin all sorts of clever lines in my head about the experience. Alas, the rest of the tour group proved to be way more mature than me and no double entendres were thrown out there for the docent to tactfully deflect. Ahh, well. Next time I’ll show up boozy and free of taste or social graces.

Another view of our intrepid eater. Pretty remarkable, I say.

Happy as a clam, this one.

Another specimen. Bit less impressive. No less immobile.